


Game Night at Beacon Academy

by Kiiratam



Series: Game Nights at Beacon Academy & Beyond [2]
Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), RWBY
Genre: Bumbleby Week 2019, Canon Compliant, F/F, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-20
Updated: 2019-07-20
Packaged: 2020-07-09 00:37:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19878718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kiiratam/pseuds/Kiiratam
Summary: Team RWBY plays Froghemoths & Fortresses.Starring Ruby Rose as the Fortress Master, and Yang Xiao Long as the Power Gamer.Introducing Weiss Schnee as the Rules Lawyer, and Blake Belladonna as the Roleplayer.Guest starring Jaune Arc as the Fortress Master's Minion.Special appearance by Pyrrha Nikos as That Person Who Likes to Watch.Takes place between Volumes 1 and 2. (My BMBLB fic index)Written for Bumbleby Week 2019: Day 5: Beacon Days.





	Game Night at Beacon Academy

Ruby Rose looked at each of her team-mates in turn. "Is everybody ready?"

  
Blake Belladonna nodded. She wasn't really ready, but she was sure Yang would be able to help her keep up.

  
"I was born ready." Yang Xiao Long tucked her arms behind her head, looking smug.

  
"I can't believe I'm doing this." Weiss Schnee leaned her cheek against her hand, looking at the low table spread between the four of them in the third floor Beacon Academy common room. "How did you talk me into doing... this?"

  
" _Froghemoths and Fortresses_ is great for team-building exercises, Weiss!" Ruby held up the weighty tome, flipping it open and pointing. "See, it says it right here, on page 2!"

  
Weiss sighed. "Fine. Let's do this."

  
Hunching forward in her armchair, Ruby peered over the top of her Fortress Master screen. "You arrive outside the grim fortress, weapons in hand, ready to slay the evil within!"

  
Blake held up her hand, waiting patiently on her spot on the couch next to Yang.

  
"It's not class, Blake." Ruby said, "I don't need to call on you, you can just say things."

  
"Who is everyone? Where even are we? Why are we going to murder whoever is living in this fortress?"

  
Ruby sighed, banging her head against the table. "Role-players!"

  
"She's got a point, sis. How can we work on our teamwork if we don't know anything about each other?" Yang put her feet up on the table.

  
"Hey, boots off the maps!"

  
Weiss interrupted. "Wait, I thought we were just, well, us."

  
Yang snorted. "Did you just build yourself?"

  
"Well, Ruby just threw a giant tome at me, told me to make a character, and then cackled and ran off. I didn't exactly have a lot of guidance here!"

  
"I thought these were called role-playing games?" Blake said. "What's the point in playing as the same person you are every day?"

  
Ruby raised her head above her FM screen. "Why don't you tell us who _you_ are, Blake?"

  
"My name is Orlando FitzHalberd, and I used to be one of the Antiprimate's Guard, until I discovered a talent for magic, and ran away from the Iron Inquisition. I'm tall, dark, and gorgeous."

  
Ruby shifted her gaze to Weiss. "See, that's how the role-players do it. Yang, show us how the other half lives."

  
Yang smirked. "My name is Furioso FitzHalberd-"

  
Ruby bolted upright. "What? You're not playing another incarnation of Sir Cleaves-A-Lot, the murder-colored knight?" She narrowed her eyes. "You're not really Yang, are you? What did you do with my sister, you fiend!?"

  
"I helped Blake make her character, and a change sounded fun. Can I continue?"

  
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. I just need to change a few things." Ruby frantically scribbled revisions onto her notes.

  
"My name is Furioso FitzHalberd, and I was a member of the Iron Inquisition. I captured Orlando, but I couldn't bring myself to kill a man so beautiful, so I ran away with him. We're newlyweds." She said, putting a hand on Blake's knee and giving her sappy look.

  
"Weiss, what've you got?" Ruby kept scribbling corrections.

  
"Well, I just put 'Weiss Schnee' down for name. Should I change that?"

  
"So long as you don't mind someone with the same name as you dying horribly in the moldy bowels of a fortress, yeah, that's fine." Ruby looked up. "Okay, so, Weiss Schnee-"

  
"I am reconsidering my choice of name."

  
"Ugh, fine."

  
"My name is Whitley Eis, and, uh. ... I like snow?"

  
Ruby grinned. "That's a level of role-playing I can get behind! Okay, so - Whitley, you're what, uh, some kind of weird ice-focused swordmage?"

  
"I have a sword written on my character sheet. And Page 17 said I got spells if I was an 'Aeldauphin', whatever that is. So I did that."

  
"Right, right. Whitley, elf prince. Blake, what are you?"

  
"My class is 'Lyric Thaumaturge.'"

  
"Of course it is. Stupid role-players and their stupid bards. Orlando, bard."

  
Blake tilted her head at Ruby, opened her mouth to ask a question, then closed it again, visibly confused.

  
Yang cut in. "Ruby's just got a grudge against people who go into a fortress and sing at the monsters. Because her very first character was a bard, and she got splattered by a pit-splat-trap."

  
"A what now?" Weiss screwed up her face.

  
"A pit-splat-trap. Okay, imagine a pit trap. So you fall into the pit trap, because you're an idiot, and while you're trying to get out of it, the ceiling above the pit trap opens up, and drops a rock the size of the pit trap into it." Yang held out an open palm, "Pit," punched her fist against her palm. "Splat! New character time."

  
"Enough storytime, Yang! Who are you again?"

  
"Furioso, inquisitor."

  
Ruby made a note. "Okay, can we get back to the looming fortress of evil?"

  
Blake turned to Yang. "Sweetie, and I say this with love, this is the worst honeymoon spot imaginable."

  
Putting on a bold face, Yang grabbed Blake around the shoulder and swept her hand out across the middle distance. "Believe me, the tour guides raved about the view from the top floors. I'll just have to make sure they're structurally stable, first."

  
Blake put her hand against her brow, and swooned into her friend's lap. "Oh, my love! Your architectural knowledge is one of the sexiest things about you! Take me now!"

  
Weiss stared. "Excuse me?"

  
Yang held up her character sheet. "I have max ranks in architecture and engineering. I was a siege engineer before I joined the Inquisition, and it was that knowledge that helped us escape in the first place. Blake has our backstory, if you want to read it." Blake sat up and pulled a sheaf of papers out from under her character sheet, started to offer it across the table.

  
"I really, really, _really_ don't." Weiss said, massaging her temple. "If you two lovebirds can keep your hands off of each other, I think we have to murder everyone in this fortress. For reasons. Important reasons."

  
Ruby hissed, "They're _eeeeeeevil_!"

  
"Yeah, that." Weiss waved her free hand.

  
Blake coughed delicately. "Actually, I wasn't joking about the 'take me now,' part. Whoever Orlando has sex with gets a lot of bonuses." She held up her character sheet. "See? Lyric Thaumaturge, Inner Harmonics, "Good Vibrations"."

  
Ruby peered at it, "Resistance to sonic damage, 20% immune to deafen, daze, stun, yadda yadda useless sexytime benefits, **+6 to attack and damage**!?"

  
"That's because of this feat, Bone Deep Rhythm, that means I always benefit from my own bardic courage, and Deep Bone Rhythm, the sex feat that lets me transfer effects from myself to anyone I have sex with. Like, say, permanent bardic courage. It does expire with the next dawn for them, though. Then we have to have sex again."

  
Ruby threw a dirty look at her sister. "Did you put her up to this?"

  
Yang held up her hands. "The concept was all hers, I just showed her the best rules for it."

  
Jaune Arc strolled over the table, sandwich in hand. "Hey, F&F, cool! Can I play?"

  
Ruby sighed. "I don't know, can you play? Can any of us really actually _play_ this game, or are we just going to sit around explaining things to each other?"

  
"Hold up." Weiss lifted her hand. "If everyone who has sex with Blake - sorry, Orlando - gets these bonuses, shouldn't Whitley also have sex with her? Him?"

  
Yang gasped. "That's my husband, sir! How dare you!"

  
Ruby handed Jaune a pile of papers and a set of metal dice. "I authorize you as Fortress Master Minion. You can run the hobnoblin booters in the first room. If we ever get there." Jaune started flipping through the pages, checking the map on the table.

  
"Look, Furioso, I'm just saying, it would be optimal for us, as a group, if both of us have sex with your husband."

  
Blake put her arm around Yang. "I mean, Whitley does have a point. It's just good sense to let both of you frick _and_ frack me before we enter the fortress. Think how much faster we could get to the honeymoon suite."

  
"Wait, what?" Weiss looked down at the gamebook. "What's the difference between those two?"

  
"There are diagrams on page 292. Anyway, pants off, you two."

  
"Ruby," Jaune said, "this is a very strange game you're running."

  
Head down on her notes, she replied, "Is it? I hadn't noticed."

  
Yang put her hands on Blake's shoulders. "But honey, _I love you_." she declaimed with great drama.

  
"Yeah, well, you should have thought of that before we picked up a third wheel in town. In a way, this is all your fault that I'm about to be double-teamed."

  
From the far side of the common room, Cardin whooped and laughed. "Ha, look at the nerds playing G&G!"

  
Ruby bolted upright. "It's F&F, you moron! And your weapon is stupid! It's not even a rotary mace!"

  
Jaune grinned, "That'll show him. Good job, Ruby."

  
"Thanks. Where were we?"

  
Yang and Blake were both sitting apart on the couch, arms crossed. Blake said, "Our marriage was in jeopardy because _someone_ doesn't want to share. ...So I'm just going to do the frick-frack with Whitley."

  
"But honey, if we don't do the frick-frack, I don't have the pluses, and we can't kill the monsters!" They fumed at each other.

  
Jaune nudged Weiss. "Do you have any idea what's going on?"

  
"Not. A. Clue. I'm just writing down the bonuses from doing the deed with Orlando."

  
Ruby slapped her hand on the table. "Okay, that's it! You've made too much noise outside the front of the castle, and the first room spills out to attack you! Roll for initiative!"

  
Blake shrugged, palms spread. "With what?" Weiss nodded in agreement.

  
Yang looked up from the die-roller on her scroll. "I got a 9."

  
Hovering over his borrowed dice, Jaune asked, "Did you want me to roll individually, or by monster type?"

  
"Okay, in the order I heard that." Ruby turned to each person in turn. "Jaune, by monster type. Orlando, 9, got it. Blake and I guess Weiss. Grab the die with the most sides-"

  
"You didn't give us any dice." Blake pointed down at the table next to her character sheet.

  
Weiss peered across the table, "Should we just use a dice roller on our scrolls? Like Yang?"

  
"Did my uncle Qrow teach you how to roll dice?"

  
"...No?"

  
Ruby nodded, "Then you can roll real dice! Unlike Yang, who has to use a sad electronic version with no tactile feedback. Like she _deserves_!"

  
"I was seven! I literally thought it was my Semblance to make it come up whatever face I wanted."

  
"Yeah, anyway." Ruby dug around in her bag, next to her chair. "Okay, spare dice. I only have metal ones - they just feel great!" She passed bags to Weiss and Blake. "So find the die with the most sides-"

* * *

  
Jaune crossed off the last monster on his list, "Ouch, Weiss. Did you have to kill all my guys that hard?"

  
Blake smirked. "Oh, that's my fault. Whitley is just so _inspired_ to protect me. Unlike my slacker husband."

  
"I literally cannot roll above a 5, give me a break."

  
"Do you know what might have helped with that? A +6 bonus to attack rolls from doing your husbandly duty."

  
"Hey, you're the one going around having sex with other people behind my back!"

  
Weiss chimed in, "Actually, there aren't any terrain features out in front of the fortress, so it was probably just in front of you."

  
"Do you want PVP combat, Whitley? Because this is how you go full PVP."

  
Ruby whispered to Weiss. "Player verses player."

  
Blake waved her hands. "Gentlemen, gentlemen, there's plenty of Orlando to go around. No need to fight."

  
"It's the plenty of Orlando going around that I'm objecting to!"

  
Pyrrha walked up to the cluster of seats. "Hello! What are all of you doing?"

  
Jaune turned to her, "I think it's some kind of weird three-man-love-triangle free-form roleplay, using the engine of _Froghemoths and Fortresses_ for the world rules."

  
"Oh...? Maybe it'll make more sense if I just stand here quietly and watch."

  
Ruby lay slumped back in her chair. "I assure you, it absolutely will not. But feel free. Are you three yahoos going to fight each other, or go deeper into the fortress?"

  
Yang turned to Blake, "Orlando, _beloved_ -"

  
Blake held out her hand in front of Yang's face. "I can't unfrick slash unfrack Whitley, so you're just going to have to accept that."

  
Sighing extravagantly, Yang said, "Maybe there's enough room on the marriage certificate to squeeze him in?" She added, in a lower voice, "It is literally an alignment violation for me to do anything of a sexual nature with someone I'm not married to. Like be in the same threesome. I will lose _all_ of my powers."

  
Weiss said, voice raised, "Well, if it isn't a threesome, it takes three times as long! That's three times as many wandering monster checks!"

  
Ruby held up a die. "Speaking of..." She rolled it, wincing at the results. "Oh boy. Ohhhhhh boy. Jaune, look." She slid a piece of paper to him, "The very last entry."

  
Jaune looked back at her, wide-eyed. "Oh man. ...can I run it?"

  
"Sure! Just don't kill them too quickly." Ruby passed him a different sheet. Pyrrha bent down next to him, as Jaune pointed out choice abilities and ridiculous numbers.

  
Weiss frowned. "I don't like where this is going. What is it?"

  
"Maybe it's the antiprimate himself!" Blake leaned forward, a steely glint in her eyes. "I have a score to settle with him."

  
Yang leaned back on the couch, groaning. "We're doomed."

  
Blake turned to her, "Why, what is it?"

  
"I'll let Ruby do the honors. Sis?"

  
"Around the corner comes hideous wet slapping noises, slowly getting closer, and Closer, and CLOSER. And then it looms into the room, the terrible, horrific, FROGHEMOTH!" Ruby slammed a giant miniature down on the table, all amphibian horror and tentacles, with three baleful eyes set on an eyestalk. "Roll for initiative!"

  
Dice clattered, Yang keyed her scroll. All three players groaned. Yang said, "Well, that's a 2 for me."

  
"Weiss?"

  
"Well, I rolled a 1, and I have a plus seven to initiative, so, eight."

  
"Stupid dexterous Aeldauphins. Blake, what'd you get?"

  
"I also got a 1, and I only have a plus three, so four."

  
"Jaune, what did the froghemoth get?"

  
"Natural twenty, for a total of 21."

  
Ruby nodded, impressed. "Okay, you're up first. Remember, don't kill them too quickly. I want them to _suffer_."

* * *

  
Weiss groaned. "Okay, team. How dead are we? I have twelve hit points left."

  
"Me and my single, solitary hit point continue to cower behind the pillar on the far wall." Blake sighed. "As I have since round three of this farce."

  
Jaune butted in. "Hey, it's not my fault I got a critical hit on you with the tongue attack! You're just lucky your husband managed to cut the end of it off. If you had been eaten, you would have been dead, dead, _dead_."

  
Yang looked up from her character sheet. "And that has been my sole successful contribution to this fight, apart from using myself as an ablative meat shield for you two. I have, count them, one, two, three, four hit points. And I'm out of self-healing entirely. And I can't get to Orlando to use my lay on hands spell, since the froghemoth is in the way."

  
"Hey, at least you have healing spells." Weiss frowned down at her character sheet. "Aeldauphins don't get any, and they can't benefit from them, either. I'm just lucky I landed that vampire sword move."

  
Pyrrha said, "It has been a really dramatic fight, hasn't it? It's been fun to watch."

  
Ruby let out a maniacal cackle. "Yes, yes it has! But now the fun is over, because it's the froghemoth's turn again! Jaune, sic!"

  
Jaune filled his hands with dice, shook them and cast them. The metal dice bounced into the dice tray, and-

  
"...Nothing."

  
"Whaaaaaaaaat? You have eight attacks! They're cowering on their last legs, beaten within an inch of their miserable lives! How could you _whiff?" Eight times?!"_

  
Jaune closed his eyes and bowed his head. "I'm sorry, Ruby. I've failed you as a Minion."

  
She shrugged. "Ah, whatever, it happens." She looked up at her players. "Now would be a very good time to run away. Or make heroic last stands, whatever. Whitley?"

  
"Run or fight?" Weiss looked at her team-mates.

  
Yang shrugged. "Live hard, die young, leave a good looking corpse."

  
"I'm too beautiful to die!" Blake pointed at her character sheet. "I have a 20 Charisma; shouldn't that help?"

  
"Well, honey, you're going to leave a good looking corpse. At least until the froghemoth dissolves all of us in acid."

  
Weiss looked over her character sheet. "Okay, heroic last stands. Uhh, I activate my Wrath of the Aeldauphin ability, spending hit points to power up my attack." She corrected her hit points. "So now I have one hit point, and I lose my next turn." Gathering up a fistful of dice, she shook them. "But I'll give the froghemoth something to remember me by."

  
Ruby nodded. "What'd you get?"

Weiss looked up from her dice. "If I get a 20 on the attack die, that does something extra, right?"

  
Yang sat up suddenly. "Critical hit. It does double damage. We may actually be able to kill this thing."

  
Weiss finished counting up her damage dice. "That's 74 damage to the froghemoth."

  
Jaune blanched. "Good grief." He showed the new hit point total to Ruby, who nodded, face blank.

  
"Glowing with brilliant light, Whitley deals a vicious blow to the froghemoth, who blubbers in pain. Orlando?"

  
"I still only have one hit point. One." Blake folded her arms.

  
Yang turned to her, "Come on, honey, what would you do if it was the anti-primate? Death and glory!"

  
Blake sighed. "Okay, death and glory. I come out of cover and throw my last ground-pounder spell at the froghemoth."

  
"Jaune, roll your save."

  
The die clattered. "Uh, that's a 15, total."

  
Blake whooped, jumping to her feet. "Ha, you needed a 16! Suck it, frog-boy!" She sat back down, full of energy as she rolled damage. "That's 23 sonic damage."

  
"Orlando's spell blows into the froghemoth, making it shake horribly until it loses some of its mass to the destructive vibrations. Furioso?"

  
Yang sighed. "Well, I don't exactly have a lot of options here. I'm out of smites, I'm out of useful spells, so I guess I charge it, and hope I can roll above a five." She paused, finger just above the 'roll' button on her scroll's display. The entire table stared back at her, Weiss and Blake hopefully, Ruby, Jaune and Pyrrha nervously. "And. Here. We. Go." She pressed the button, and passed her scroll to Blake. "I can't look. Blake, what is it?"

  
"...Critical hit."

  
The table erupted in shouting. Yang grabbed her scroll back. "Hey, sis, how does fifty damage sound?"

  
Ruby looked at Jaune, who shook his head, and showed her the new hit point total. She nodded, and turn to the group. "Furioso leaps at the beast, axe held high, and _cleaves its eyestalk in twain_! The froghemoth is dead!"

  
Weiss held up a finger. "Out of professional curiosity, how dead is it?"

  
Jaune glanced down. "Negative 13."

  
"So, Ruby, does it have any loot?" Yang asked, her eyes shining.

  
Ruby looked at her notes, counting dice into her hand with the clink of metal on metal. She paused, looking up at Pyrrha, a sudden suspicion gripping her mind. Pyrrha smiled back at her. Ruby rolled the dice behind her FM screen, watching them very carefully. One of the dice stopped, balanced on its point. Ruby grabbed it. "That one was cocked." She rerolled it. It acted normally. "So, here's what you find..."


End file.
